These are days of stepping back and looking inside to places of hurt and pain and to longings that seem to have gotten washed away with the tide of urgency in life’s demands of mama, wife, missionary.
I don’t know where it will all lead only that there is far to go. Far as that country whose city and builder is God. It’s far from the deserts where I have been living full of all of the reasons why Jesus had to die…to rescue me from the pain of a world gone wrong.
And I know that I am coming to see, afresh, anew, again the wonder, the wonder the abject wonder of a God who took on flesh. Who came from infinity to time, to the humble and low and broken at the mercy of the messed up ones struggling, plodding through this world.
I am tearing up and embracing the emotion of he who faced it all and cried out ‘my God, my God why have you forsaken me?’ so that I would NEVER have to cry in this way, to be met with the silence.
The veil has been torn in two and I can see. I.can.see. Straight into the heart of a God who promises because of Him, of a Savior, wild and glorious giving the scandalous gift to the harlots of heart and the robbers of grace and the murderers of good…a full and rich eternity. Even me. Yes, even me.